don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
