Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
