Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I faked an abortion last night.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
