they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize
