I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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