Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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