"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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