I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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