it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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