She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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