508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
