I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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