i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
