I don't think brook has ever known best
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
