it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
