This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
