69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
