11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize