Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
