well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
