did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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