if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
