so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
