I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize