Pappa wants mamma naked
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
