Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I deserve to be covered in dicks
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
