just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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