it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
