remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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