when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
