Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
