Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
