she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
