Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
