We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
