Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
