I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
