im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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