Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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