you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
