Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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