I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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