Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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