Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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