i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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