with your own penis?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A bitchslap is in order.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
