Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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