Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
