Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
