To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
