So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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