So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
