Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just cropdusted the office
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
