Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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