he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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