Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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