I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
