Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
