So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Enjoy the penises
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
