Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
