no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
