So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
