i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
