I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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