I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
