why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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